How Many Character Points Did THAT Cost?

My friend “Ruby” has leveled up enough in the Couch Potato Skill that she now evidently has a rare Feat that happens pretty much automatically whenever she is near a TV: Fuck with Cable Programming. You think I’m exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. Every time she comes over, we suddenly have a vast array of disturbing shows available to watch; usually involving an assortment or combination of serial killers, Nazis, polygamy, aliens, vampires, fetishes, zombies, cults, ghosts and… cooking.

She just dropped by one afternoon to return something and shortly afterward, Garian arrived home to find me on the couch riveted to “Deadliest Warrior: Vampires vs. Zombies.” After saying “What?!” he just shook his head in disgust and muttered, “Has Ruby been over? I swear the most fucked-up shit comes on around her…” After this incident, we started paying more attention and yes, it does. I was flipping between sitcom and cartoon reruns because nothing else was on until she came over for dinner. Then I suggested we go watch TV just to see what happened and sure enough, we were greeted with a selection of programming that included shows about how Deadly Cults and Zombies are proof of Ancient Aliens, a documentary about people who love objects (like their cars and the Berlin Wall), a documentary about Nazi Collaborators, Twilight (which we watched to mock, not being angsty, emo teenagers), a Crop Circle experiment, Sister Wives, and a show where contestants made desserts into elaborate artistic interpretations of the Underworld. I’m pretty sure Ghost Hunters was also on and the Mythbusters were decapitating dummies and pigs with a flying frisbee-headbag. The clincher was when a preview for a television show or miniseries came on — it wasn’t even clear what was being advertised as it was just a quick succession of disconnected but horrific sequences with various people running, seeing weird things, and behaving violently interspersed with landscape shots and shopping. Maybe they flashed a title in there somewhere, but I don’t remember it. I looked over at Ruby and said, “The TV is losing it. We need to put in a movie or you need to go home.”

Now this may sound like a waste of Character Points, but it really enhances her social life — especially given that the points that should have gone into Tact and Diplomacy wound up in Brutal Honesty and Flipping the Bitch Switch on her Character Sheet. I for one, am hoping she will come to dinner tonight because because after the new Big Bang Theory episode, there’s nothing on…

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One Response to “How Many Character Points Did THAT Cost?”

  1. […] post was inspired by a recent Flop Night with Ruby, who if you recall, has crazy magical powers to make cable tv more interesting. One show we sometimes just can’t look away from is Toddlers and Tiaras, a real look into […]

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