It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

I know, such a cliche, but it WAS a dark and stormy night last night, and cold; and I was four hours into a road trip, low on gas and thinking that I’d stop in Pineville, KY. Now this particular town has always creeped me out a little bit, mainly because it has honest-to-God city walls. With huge gates and everything. In fact I wanted to take a picture of the gates and wall, hence my motivation for stopping there despite my sinister inklings that the walls are there to keep out troll raids from the nearby mountains or — even more disconcerting — to keep in hordes of walking undead spawned by local necromancers or unsanitary living conditions. I always keep a sharp eye out when driving through.

But last night, I’m driving in the rain and I must be getting close when the speed limit drops to 45mph. OK, I think, I’m coming up on Pineville. I should look for a gas station. But there is no sign of approaching civilization. All is dark and mountainous. Suddenly I notice through the gloom that I’ve just driven past the gates, but it’s still frakkin’ dark. So I’m thinking,”What, do they shut down the town at 10pm or something? At least there should be streetlights.” And I notice that there are streetlights, but they are all off.

I have a bad feeling about this.

I see no Christmas lights, no fast food signs, no signs of life in fact, except for that other car at that intersection I just drove through when it hits me that I didn’t have the green light because all the traffic lights are out too. So then I look for emergency lights flashing — no. Surely if this were just a power outage, police should be at the intersections directing traffic — but there are none in sight. I creep up to the next traffic light and treat it like a four-way stop.

Now, as Fate would have it, I naturally have to pee so badly that it isn’t even funny — except perhaps to Fate. But I take in one more look at the dark and deserted town and say, “Oh hell no. I’ve seen this movie before. I will hold it.

Finally, after I’ve passed the gates on the other side of town, I see flashing blue lights ahead and there is a police car parked in the middle of the upcoming intersection. Ah, good. The authorities are on it. So I stop like you do, waiting to be directed to proceed through by the officer. But there is no officer. Not in the intersection, not in the car. The car is just there, lights flashing, deserted.

I floor it and get the hell out of there before the zombies or trolls emerge from the shadows.

Needless to say I didn’t stop to take a photo, but here’s a good pic of the gates from activerain.com:

Looks pleasant enough, doesn't it?

And when I googled pineville, ky to find that photo, this also came up:

I think we can safely assume zombie hordes were at fault for last night’s near-adventure…

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5 Responses to “It Was A Dark And Stormy Night”

  1. OMG so weird!!!! Did you ever find out WTH was up with that town?

    • Evil Bekka Says:

      No, but I bet you could google their local publications and read about it. I imagine it was less interesting and fun than zombies, so I shall continue in my ignorance…

  2. Jennifer Eddington Says:

    Creepy…

  3. MIDDLESBORO – A wide-spread power outage occurred Monday night at 11:52 p.m. The outage affected most of Bell County and stretched to Harrogate, Tenn.

    According to Cliff Feltham, spokesperson for Kentucky Utilities (KU), the power outage occurred because of a main transmission line failure.

    The failure occurred at the substation in Pineville.
    —-

    Alas…no zombies.

    • Evil Bekka Says:

      Thanks Jonathan! However, the local necromancers suppressed the part of the article that said, “The main transmission line failed due to general zombie mayhem. The zombie havoc was contained by our awesome city walls and we are currently releasing fresh uninfected people into the town to replace those who were devoured.”
      Besides, I drove through at 10:15pm, not 11:52pm as the article states… something doesn’t add up… I love crackpot conspiracy theories. Ooo! We should get the Ancient Aliens people on this! I bet they could prove it was evidence of EXTRATERRESTRIALS!

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