How Many Gamers Does it Take to Make a Pot of Coffee?

Photo by netmonkey on Flickr

Ever have one of those surreal, out-of-body moments where you look at yourself and your friends and say, “Damn, are we really having this conversation? Sitcom writers would pay through the nose for this stuff”? It happens with some regularity in my life — I need to start carrying a notebook to just write down the wacky situations and clever quips that pepper my existence. One such recent and memorable instance of hilarity was at “BrendaCon,” a weekend-long sleepover at my friend Brenda’s house for the purpose of board gaming ourselves senseless (goal achieved!). Garian and I arrived on Friday and (late) that evening, the group began grappling with the logistics of the coming morning. A key component of this strategizing was How Much Coffee Will We Need??

It began simply enough; I stated that I always have one cup of coffee in the morning and that is all the caffeine I require. Garian and Brenda’s husband Ben don’t drink coffee at all. Brenda drinks two cups, her Uncle John drinks about three. The Unknown Variable was that another friend, “Maire,” was joining us in the morning, and I knew that she drank lots of coffee. However, she would have already had some in order to be functional enough to drive over, so she may be all right with one cup or possibly two… To be safe, we thought we’d set the coffeemaker up to make 10 cups. And then. It occurred to Brenda that as strong as she usually makes the particular brand of coffee that she had, we may have to put so many grounds in, that the filter would overflow and spill grounds in the coffee (she usually only made her two cups, so this was a novel problem). There was a discussion about how strong the coffee should be then. No one wanted to sacrifice strength for quantity because you can dilute strong coffee with milk, but if it’s too weak all you can do is make a face and drink it anyway.

So she measured out how many coffee grounds she usually used, this makes two cups, so while she was extrapolating how much she’d need for ten cups, some rules lawyer pointed out that her “two cup” travel mug held 8 ounces — two 4 ounce cups — while the coffeemaker was assuming a standard cup of coffee was 6 ounces. Out came the paper and pencil, the calculator and the smartphones to google standard measurements and conversions. About this time, I gained some perspective and pointed out that by the time we figured all this out, we could’ve just set up the coffeemaker to make as much coffee as it safely could and then…. if it wasn’t enough, we could make another pot!

The silliness of the situation then hit everyone, and after the laughter and joking subsided that was the solution we decided on. And then the next morning, as these things tend to do, all plans went awry as Uncle John selfishly consumed four 6 ounce cups, I drank about 5 ounces, Brenda had her usual two cups and when Maire arrived she was greeted with, “Welcome to BrendaCon! You may have one 4.5 ounce cup of coffee.”

We made another pot.

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2 Responses to “How Many Gamers Does it Take to Make a Pot of Coffee?”

  1. LOL! That sounds about par for my life too….minus the accurate measurements. 🙂

  2. Boy does that sound familiar.

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