WTF Observation

So I’ve noticed this week as I’ve run errands that there were three old toilets out by the curb of these apartment buildings. I thought, “good for them; someone’s getting a bathroom remodel!” Today there were only two toilets by the side of the road. It wasn’t trash day — and if it had been, they would have taken all of them, not just one. So I am drawing the conclusion that someone actually curb-shopped a used, discarded toilet (circa 1985 from the color and style).

Why??? What are they going to do with it? Was it an impulse or did they see it, think “Treasure!” and come back later with a truck? I am wildly curious about the life circumstances and choices of this toilet scavenger, yet I will likely never know any more about the matter.

And that is my sad and puzzling thought for Wednesday.

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5 Responses to “WTF Observation”

  1. Among other oddities, my family frequently indulges in curb shopping and treasure hunting. I would not be at all surprised if the events ran something like this:

    Man sees toilet on the side of the road. Man thinks hard all day about this fantastic treasure just waiting to be collected. He bites his nails constantly, thinking that someone else might happen by to claim HIS toilet before he can run home and get the truck.

    Man gets the truck. Man ducks into the house for car keys. Woman knows where this is going.

    “What are you…?”
    “Sorry honey, no time! Got to go!”

    Man drives like suicidal maniac to the spot marked X. He obtains toilet. Proudly displays it on the back of his truck. Puts the dog in the back with it, so that others can also envy his A1 hound. Makes unnecessary detours, just so that others can see and marvel at his acquisition.

    Man gets home.

    “You did WHAT?? NOT IN MY HOUSE, BUSTER!!”

    So the toilet sits in the front yard for a week or so. You see, Man is still very pleased with himself. All his neighbors, he thinks, should be able to admire his resourcefulness. Also, the entire process was laden with anticipation, pride, joy, and now rejection. Man is emotionally invested in the toilet.

    But, at some point, the toilet becomes a threat to domestic tranquility. It breaks his heart, but Man must resign himself to taking the poor sad thing to the dump. He loves his wife, and he is willing to make sacrifices for her happiness. So sadly, slowly, he loads the reviled toilet onto the truck for its last ride. He creeps down the county road and, sniffling in the privacy of his cab, makes his way to the landfill.

    Where he finds this GORGEOUS loveseat! Surely, he thinks, this will make up to his wife all the agonies she went through over his toilet! And, glory be! He already has the truck RIGHT THERE! So home it goes.

    Rinse and repeat.

    • Evil Bekka Says:

      That is a beautiful conjecture told by one who has surely lived through some curb-shopping misadventures of her own! I’m going to decide that that’s what happened… Otherwise I was afraid that some people who are wired more like my husband thought, “ooo, free unwanted toilet — perfect! Now we can test that exploding toilet myth like the Mythbusters!’ And then I was going to dread picking porcelain shards out of the garden for the next month or so.
      hm. I’d actually better go check the garage and Garian’s truck just to be sure.

  2. Penelope :) Says:

    Or…..maybe the original owners decided they couldn’t part with their beloved 80’s toilet after all and took it back into the house and reinstalled it. 😀

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